Nonjudgmental reportage

Where I live, in a college town at the foothills of the rocky mountains, there are some wacky goings-on. Tootsie Rolls made out of hash available down the street. $16 fried chicken (the best that will ever pass your lips, I swear.) A privately owned DVD rental store, in a brick building and everything. Olympic athletes on the elliptical at the local gym.

My most common response to hearing about new happenings is "Well, you'll have that."

And then I read about something new, something completely out of the ordinary, something I had never, ever heard of before.

http://www.saltspacolorado.com/index.html

My people: here in Boulder, Colorado, home to both the Psychic Horizons Center and the atomic clock, you can finally pay your hard-earned money to sit in a room made of salt. Your kids can even play in it! All at the low, low price of $1 per minute. Or, if you're looking for an even greater value, you can sit in a room made of salt as often as you'd like for $150/month, debited from the account of your choice.


Well, you'll have that.

Wall of Sane, Valentino Edition

In a world more perfect, every girl would get to have a Valentino red dress.

Gilt

It's not just a red dress. It's not just a Valentino dress. It's a dress that is Valentino red. If you understand the situation here, and you haven't seen The Last Emperor, you should stop everything you're doing and Netflix it right now.

Amount saved via Gilt: $699 plus s/h.  
Amount saved via, say, somewhere else: $2,650.

Blood libel: not just a catchphrase

So by now we all know what the phrase 'blood libel' means in the context of religion. But just in case:

The blood libel is a false accusation that Jews sacrifice Christian children either to use the blood for various "medicinal" purposes or to prepare Passover matzo or for vengeance and mock crucifixions.

Sounds ridiculous. Who would believe that? What a totally 17th-century-Jewish-ghetto kind of phrase, right? Wrong.

About five years ago, I went to an Easter dinner hosted by friends of my soon-to-be in- (and then ex-) laws. These people live in a nice big house in the Denver suburbs with a lot of nice white carpet and nice crystal knick knacks in nice glass and wood display cases.  

They're certainly serious churchgoers, and so Easter was a pretty big deal. There was a lot of resurrection talk at the table, some pointed prayers about saving the unsaved (that would be me) and some pretty good ham. 

When we were saying our goodbyes, I said, "Thank you so much for including me tonight. I'd love to have you over for Passover next month." It was a sincere invitation to share in the springtime renewal ritual I'd been doing every year since I was born. Norm's response was this, verbatim:

"Oh, right, like I'm going to let you put blood on my forehead."

He was serious. I was flabbergasted. So much so that I couldn't get any more words to come out of my mouth. I mean, where do you start with something like that? I felt the not unfamiliar weight of my personal responsibility to explain the ways of my ancestors to white bread America. I figure it's payback for growing up in an all-Jewish town.

But I didn't. Nope. I did not explain how Jews don't use human blood in our mysterious and creepy rituals. I did not explain that the forehead doesn't even factor into Passover in any way, shape, or form that I know of. I didn't even explain what Passover is. I said good night and walked out.

I haven't thought about this incident in years. But here's the thing: When Palin busts out the term "blood libel," she's not just talking about being picked on by the media. She's also talking to a segment of the people in this country who still believe in things like Jews using human blood for religious rituals. And I'll come right out and say it: I think people in that segment of the population are more prone to Glock ownership than, say, most of the rest of the country.

Overheard at iStockphoto

"Quick! It's January! More photos of women laughing alone with salads!"